Thursday, April 21, 2011


Below is an interview I did with my very good friend Jakki Slavin.  Thanks Jakki for doing this interview.

1)     Studies have shown that twins are hereditary; do you have twins in your family?

I have a rich history of fertility when it comes to multiple births within my family tree. My grandmother had a set of twins. One of my aunts gave birth to triplets. A few of my cousins have twins. My only sister has fraternal twins, and I have fraternal twins. I am told that my father had a pair of twins from a previous marriage who passed away in a fire many years ago.

When my sister had her twin daughters three years prior to my giving birth to fraternal twins, I felt such a sense of relief and was happy it was her and not me. I had been told that multiples usually skip a generation.  After my sister's babies were born; I thought   there was no way we could both have twins. Boy was I wrong.    

2)  How difficult was it raising your twins?  Can you explain how you handled any sibling rivalry issues?

Raising a family when multiple births are involved is not for the faint of heart. It was without a doubt one of the most complex challenges I’d ever faced. With very little assistance and even less guidance from family or friends, I often questioned and second guessed many of my decisions. If there was a manual out there to help guide me through those murky years, I never found it. Besides, I wouldn’t have had the time to read it anyway.

I already had a three year old son by the time my twins were born so I figured I knew enough about babies and could handle a few more. After all, how difficult could it be?  I was in for a shock when I realized that nothing was easy about it, and it was not going to be for at least 18 more years. Everything from grocery shopping to vacuuming took three times longer to complete.    

Within one year, I went from a stay at home mom to a displaced, unemployed single parent with two one year olds and a four year old. Because my fraternal twins are a male and a female, most situations were handled according to gender.

The jury is still out on some of those decisions. Sibling rivalries were mostly due to someone needing or wanting more attention than the other. Every day I tried to give each child at least 30 minutes of individual time. Often times someone’s time would get interrupted by a sibling, so I had to change the game plan. Special treats and rewards became a life saver for me.

 My children were rarely out of my eye sight, and because it was just us for a long time, we did practically everything together.  A social life for me seemed impossible.  So as they got older, I eventually found other moms that were in the same situation as me.  My children had someone to play with and I on the other hand had a new female friend that I could socialize with.

3) How did your oldest handle having twin siblings?    

Surprisingly, it was usually my oldest son who at four years old still did not know what to think about his new siblings. He was my greasy wheel until he started school. As they all got older, I tried to stay out of most of their conflicts. I was very fortunate that most times they managed to work it out among themselves. To this day, they are all very close and supportive of each other.

4) All three of your children are now attending college and are well adjusted young adults, what exactly did you do to set them up for success?

I continuously instilled in them the importance of an education, regardless of our economic status.  I gave only two choices, college or military. Of course my oldest son rebelled against both for several years after his high school graduation, but has since come to appreciate the value of an education in these distressed economic times.

I am proud to say that all of my children graduated high school with honors; all are in college and are on a path towards success for their individual futures. I don’t believe I did anything extraordinary as a mom. I stayed involved in their lives in every way I could, and I supported them in any extracurricular activities that they chose to get involved in. I was and still am their biggest cheerleader.

5) Do you have any advice for parents who are raising twins?

Whether multiples are fraternal or identical, I feel it is important to teach them to be individuals. There were many times when it would have been easier to lump them into a one size fits all status, but intuitively I didn’t feel it was the right thing to do.

 As a parent of multiples, there will be many sleepless nights, a great deal of frustration and at times a pity party for one, but the greatest joy and the biggest reward comes from knowing that God gave me the task because he knew I could do it.

The twins at six weeks old

This is Trent the twin's handsome older brother!

Picture of the twins, Tyler and Taylor taken at their high school graduation May 2010


  1. My ex was a twin but I don't know what happened far as I know, there weren't any other twins in the family unless they were deceased and I didn't know about it. They didn't look alike except they were both tall and skinny. I always wondered how parents deal with having more than one baby at a time - I know my one at a time babies were a handful!

  2. I don't have any twins in my family. And thank goodness for that. I preferred to have one child at a time, that was enough for me.

  3. My mother in law was an identical twin. She was the mirror twin (The left handed one.) They were born in a covered wagon in 1917 while travelling across Texas. Their mother died in childbirth and LaMerle and LaVerne were raised by their aunt and uncle. Their father already had three boys and had no way to care for premature newborn twins. I loved hearing stories about their lives.
    I adored the twins and dreamed of having twins of my own. I think it's just as well I didn't. I found one at a time was handful enough.
    My critique partner Hilde Garcia has fraternal twins. Victoria and Sam are now five and I think they and their parents are awesome.

  4. Wonderful interview....... Loved it.... I think twins are fascinating and love to read about them. Thanks sooo much for this interview.

  5. Dorothy,

    Thanks for stopping by. I have so much respect for women that can raise twins. Yes indeed, it is hard work with one baby.


  6. Rebecca,

    I certainly can relate to what you said. Twins do run in my family. My sister have twin girls, my aunt had fraternal twins. My husband had identical twin brothers that were still born. The twins I miscarried would have been 17 years old. I hope to see them in heaven someday.

  7. susan,

    Thanks for stopping by. I believe things happen for a reason. My twins would have been 17 this year. I am very thankful that God gave me three other wonderful children.

    Nicole Weaver

  8. Dixie,

    Thanks so much for stopping by. You are right, twins are very fascinating.

    Nicole Weaver